everyday

To The One I love

To the One I love
7:50 a.m.

Everyday I get the chance to be a witness
Of the beauty of Your miracles
I get to breathe new life and
Share another smile with another

Everyday I get to be grateful
Of both great and greatest beginnings
For the things that I can and cannot do
Oh this heart, it can only trust in You

Everyday I get the chance to be resilient
Of a strength that is renewed to that of an eagle
I get to run to You to restore my vigor
Seemingly able to run a day without limits

Everyday I get the chance to keep fighting
Of the life I chose to live
To give glory to the One who is my everything
This purpose in life You have planned for me

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The First of Many Firsts

Came across with a thought of knowing,understanding, and growing up with the word FIRST while I was on the way home from a long day of travel.

First cut is the deepest

First love never dies

First will always be first

First will always be special

First can hardly be forgotten

First is nothing like the rest

These famous and not so famous lines. I’ve been hearing it in my thoughts while on the road. I have had so many firsts in my life, I thought of it as something grand, exciting, and surreal but first? First does not guarantee a second and it sometimes painfully cannot guarantee that it will last… until forever. I don’t know.

Though the Scripture says otherwise and I strongly believe it to be so, sometimes firsts can last for only a blissful moment but its memories, its memories… do not usually fade. Some firsts may also have left scars, a reminder of a mess of what might have been a beautiful thing, yet ended up with the deepest cut. It’s not always delightful experiencing the first of many firsts in life, but if it’s worth the pain then yeah, just go on and live life as if it’s always the first of a never or forever.

After all we can never undo or replace what has been first. We are just blessed with too many seconds to make up for it or to completely mess things up. Choices, choices are for you and I to make.

 

When Just Being Heard Isn’t Enough

In my growing up years, I have loved listening to stories, from serious ones down to the lamest and craziest jokes from the people around me. A friend even told me that I am a good listener (especially to those who opens up their heart with all its pain, hurt, and stuff like that). For me, listening was a pleasure, one of the best things I can do for the people I care about. 

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Until text messaging and chat took its toll on my listening gift. Not that I don’t want to hear or listen to any story anymore, I just felt that the effect of the advanced technology made it both easier and harder to communicate. 

And so I have this friend who always wanted to be listened to with all the attention of anyone she is speaking with. She wanted to be looked at while she’s talking, and you have to show it on your face that you really are listening. Otherwise, it is going to be a bit of a quarrel. There was this one time that she told me a long story (took her half an hour to finish) and to her surprise, she didn’t get any reaction from me for 5 long minutes. You don’t have to guess what happened we got into a fight after. 🙂

And of course, that made me talk but not about her story, but to defend myself. 

I listened, yes I did, but it wasn’t enough that I just listened. I can rehearse everything she told me but I know that I was not fully committed to pay real and close attention to everything she is talking about. Whenever I recall that scene, I can’t help but smile but at the same time, it makes me realize that though I really didn’t wan to listen, I could’ve been decent enough to tell her to stop or even pause for a while, and divert the conversation to something else if I couldn’t really take every story that she was telling me about.

To be fully committed to listening, “just hearing” is not enough.

Later on, I realized that I started hating the thought of being listened to with undivided attention as well. I met a lot of good friends who casually look at their phones to read text messages and reply to some of it while having live conversations. I am no excuse of the same but I am really working on this. Being really there for a friend requires being present with your undivided attention.

Life can be too busy for most of us but if we agreed to meet and have a real conversation over a cup of coffee or tea, we must be really present with all that we are. Otherwise, it might be a waste of time on both ends. I still love being there for my friends, listening to their stories, and all I know now is that I don’t like the feeling of just being heard.  i would love to be listened to with full attention no matter how drastic the reaction of the other party might be. And with that, I have to start doing the same thing whenever I am listening to anyone. 

Do you have anything to share? I’d be present, I’d be listening… with all my heart and undivided attention this time. 😉

 

Dragged Myself to Write? No!

So today I dragged myself to anything that I could possibly do and accomplish. I know that Monday was supposed to be a day for rest, (at least for someone who spends his/her day in a full time volunteerism in the ministry) but I couldn’t complain more. I love what I do and there is nothing to regret about except of what I am feeling right now.

I have to accomplish paperworks that are due tomorrow for a presentation and yet I am feeling my immune system at its low moment. Last night, while I was in one of our churches in Bulacan (a 2-3 hour travel from home), I had colds attack and my body cannot seem to recuperate by itself because of the intoxicated turn of events while we were there.

1. Water supply from the community was shut down all at once. (This only happens in the Philippines, I guess)

2.  Our electric stove won’t work. (for the first time in its history)

3. The children were too loud and way out of control. (some of them were not present and yet their noise was just the same)

4. My runny nose started to have its way and was beyond my control (until today)

5. And I can say the least, a crazy jeepney ride on our way back to Manila (and I say, really crazy)

So today, I dragged myself to get up while my body was not feeling it, dragged myself to take a bath, eat breakfast, go to work, and eat lunch. I usually write when I am driven to do so, when I have the energy but not today, I feel my body pulling away from anything that I am doing but my brain just won’t stop and I think that’s a good sign, a good thing. Did I just drag myself to write? No way! No matter how this day turns out to be, even if I have to drag myself to doing the things that are needed to be done, I am still grateful. I am privileged to still have a work, a work that is mostly paid by heavenly currency. I am blessed and with confidence I can say, I am healed! Thank You Jesus!